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How The Bible Sustained Me During My Darkest Days

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on what kind of year I’ve had so far in 2016. The spring for me was a rough season. I wrote a personal entry about it back then, and today I’m sharing that post with you. I’ve edited a few things for the sake of readability, and added a few paragraphs for the sake of the reader. You can read the post below.

David Qaoud 
04/07/2016

I just got out of one of the most difficult seasons of my life. The Lord had me in the furnace for several months. I’ve dealt with physical ailments, tensions within friendships, family drama, and the pressure of major life-decisions. Most days, I could barely think straight, and some days, I could scarcely lift my head.

How The Bible Sustained Me

I received encouragement from Lecrae’s song, Far AwayThe song is about the devastating Earthquake that struck Haiti in 2010. The unapologetic premise is God’s perceived absence amid hard times. That’s how I felt. I stopped asking, “How long, O LORD?” And started asking, “Are you even there, O LORD?”

How the Bible Sustained Me

Things began to slowly change. In this season, the last thing I wanted to do was read, but I did. In God’s Providence, I had a copy of Tim Keller’s book, Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering laying on my desk. Reluctantly, I opened it, and right away – in the Introduction, before I started the actual book, Psalm 34:1-2 was on the page: “I will bless the LORD at all times, his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and be glad.”

And that’s when, as they say, everything changed.

I must have read those verses a hundred times, and they never meant a thing to me. But this time — they did.

What changed my perspective was verse two: “Let the afflicted hear and be glad.”

I was quickly reminded of a John Calvin quote, “There is nothing in afflictions which ought to disturb our joy.” My heart changed. All I wanted was joy, and I thought I couldn’t have it because of my life’s circumstances. I was wrong. “Let the afflicted hear and be glad.” The afflicted! Not the person in success, but in suffering. Not the one in prosperity, but in peril. And that person was me.

This one phrase changed my thinking, and reminded me that, even in afflictions, I have unspeakable joy in Christ. Indeed, afflicted people are not only allowed to have joy, but commanded to do so.

The Lord is Near to The Brokenhearted

Still, life was hard. The past few weeks have been dark and empty. I was also plagued with a serious viral infection, so I could hardly pray or read or do anything for the next 10 days. But I was desperate, so I continually went back to my Bible, again and again to Psalm 34.

This time it was verse 18: “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in Spirt.”

This verse carried me through the next few weeks. My heart was broken, and my spirit, crushed. And even though at times it didn’t feel this way, I knew – because the Bible says so – that Lord was near, and he would deliver me.

It didn’t matter if my friends and family and job left me, God wouldn’t. He is near to me, and the preciousness of this truth, for the first time, came alive to my weary soul. Though painful at the time, I don’t think I would have learned the beauty of the Scriptures this way, apart from my trials.

John Piper’s mother passed away when he was 28. She was hit by a bus. After the phone call of hearing of his mother’s death, he told his wife, Noel, and then wept at his bedside for two hours. What came to mind as he wept was Paul’s words to the Corinthians: “Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10).

These two things, which seem diametrically opposed, were a living reality for Piper for the first time ever. And it was only learned through suffering.

“Walking through suffering enables us to experience things the Bible talks about, which, until then, you only read about,” says Piper.

There are some joys in life that you can only learn through the school of suffering.

Christian, do not despise your suffering. Instead, rejoice in it, and cling to your Bible. Ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate your heart, and the Bible’s words, and then cling for dear life. There’s so much beauty and power and joy and wonder in the Bible that you can only see when you’re hurting. And if you look long enough in the Scriptures, your life will change, even if your circumstances don’t.

I’m in a better season now. Things seem on the rise. I look back on this past season in faith, but I’m still perplexed. I don’t understand why I went through everything I did. I don’t know why the Lord sent so many trials my way. I don’t know why I experienced so many seemingly senseless difficulties. There’s a lot of things I don’t know, but there is also one thing that I do know: “It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statues” (Psalm 119:71).

You may also like: 

  1. 3 Things to Remember When Life is Darker Than You Expected 
  2. 10 Reasons Why God Allows Suffering 
  3. Why I Always Feel Depressed on My Birthday 

About David Qaoud

David Qaoud (MDiv, Covenant Theological Seminary) is associate pastor of Bethesda Evangelical Church in St. Louis, Missouri, and founder of gospelrelevance.com. His work has appeared on The Gospel Coalition, For the Church, and Banner of Truth. He lives in St. Louis with his wife and son. Learn more>

4 Replies

  1. Oh dear David,how sweet is this blog. Like Job and the three Hebrew children you have walked through the fire but the smell of smoke was not upon you for He has carried you through. Keep looking up! Ponder the words of Psalm 95: 1-7 to encourage you as a reminder that God is in control, He knows and He is your rock, the precioius Cornerstone of your faith.

    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Gaye!

  2. Susan Langer

    Thank you, David. I needed to hear this tonight. It’s been a tough few weeks with my dog dying this week with cancer and I miss him. He was my best friend. I know he’s not suffering but I really needed to hear these verses tonight.

    1. Susan, so sorry to hear about your dog. That makes me feel sad hearing that. I’m glad this post encouraged you, and that you found strength from the Bible verses I mentioned.